Redemption
by AaronEmilyLove2005
Summary: Emily and Hotch are in an established relationship. Emily asks Hotch for help but it appears that Hotch is the one who needs help.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi :-) This story****_will _**** have graphic content. This is the harshest that I have ever written Hotch and it wasn't an easy road. If you'd rather not see him in this light, please just give it a chance. Things will be explained and get better for Hotch and Emily. This will be a few chapters, approximately six. Thank you for reading and reviewing is very much appreciated! ;-) **

As he stood in the viewing room watching Emily as she interrogated William Ellis, Hotch realized that Emily almost had the suspect right where she wanted him. Then William touched a nerve inside Emily with a remark that even her inner agent couldn't let slide.

"It was you William!" Emily shouted as she pounded her fist to the table they both sat at. "You took those women from their homes, you hung them up like a slab of meat and you tortured them!" she added as she let her back fall roughly against the back of her chair.

William smiled at Emily and Hotch cringed from the other side of the glass. "You don't know what you're talking about...Emily. You think you've got it all figured out!" his eyes widening as he waved his arms in front of her.

With frustration running through her veins, Emily crossed her arms, remaining seated and continued. "Well William, you aren't that hard to figure out. You see we have your fingerprints on the little torture toys found in your basement and more importantly your DNA all over Michelle Couette and Nichole White. You tortured them and then you ripped their clothes to shreads along with their dignity when you raped them. Is that what you did to your wife too?"

William leaned back in his chair, speechless, and Emily took the advantage. "Am I getting a little closer now William?

"Look pretty lady..." William began when Emily raised herself quickly out of her seat and brought her face close to his.

"It's Agent Prentiss to you, you sick son of a bitch! " she yelled.

"Okay...okay...Agent Prentiss" he replied with a tone that made her skin crawl.

"Where is she?!" Emily screamed louder, now pounding the table with her hand.

"I'll tell you where she is if... " he tried.

"There is no if, you asshole. You tell me where she is or you'll find out what they do to pathetic pricks like you in prison!" Emily warned him.

William smiled at Emily and Hotch could see the determination in her eyes to bury this guy once and for all. The case had really gotten to Emily when she and Reid had missed the opportunity to save Michelle Couette by only seconds.

"So...does that mean you're gonna cut me a deal if I tell you?" he asked.

Emily took in a much needed breath, stepped back and sighed. "What it means is that your sorry ass may not get the punishment that it deserves if you give me something."

Ellis looked around the room for a moment and then patted the table with his confined hand. "I'll tell you what...Agent...I'll tell you where she is...and you give me 20 minutes to show you what a real man is like."

Emily was enraged and was doing well as far as Hotch was concerned just by the fact that she hadn't ripped Ellis' head off yet.

"A real man? A real man doesn't have to rape women to get a little. You can't get it up unless someone is begging you to stop!" she lashed out, standing over Ellis.

William gave Emily a smile that made even Hotch feel uncomfortable, then leaned across the table closer to Emily's face. "You wouldn't beg me to stop though, would you? You look like a woman that would give it up pretty easily."

In seconds, Emily was across the table, her right fist connecting with William's left jaw. By the time she pulled her fist back preparing for another blow, Hotch had a hold of her by the waist, pulling her from across the table and to stand on the floor.

"Out. Now.!" he told Emily with the most feral glare she had ever seen from him.

She knew then that she had gone overboard and immediately apologized to Hotch. "I'm sorry Sir, but he..."

"I heard what he said and I saw what you did! Out!" he yelled as he pushed her toward the door with his firm hand on her upper arm.

Emily left the room, slamming the door and walking straight to her desk. She was furious at Hotch but knew she had crossed the line. She sat in her chair, shaking from her anger as she jerked her jacket from her body and laid it carelessly across the back of her chair. Hotch left the interrogation room and messaged Rossi and told him he needed him and Morgan to finish the job with Ellis and if they had substantial evidence, to let Ellis smolder in lock up for the night and they'd finish with him tomorrow. He told him that he and Emily had to be somewhere and that when they finished up, for him to send the rest of the team home for some sleep.

Five minutes later, Hotch walked quickly to the bullpen and to Emily's desk. He leaned over to speak lowly to her.

"I want you to go home. I want you to prepare everything in the guest room tonight." he told her harshly.

"Hotch, what about Jack? she asked in a concerned tone.

"He's staying over at his friend's house tonight. Jacob. I told you that. You don't listen." he told her, turning his face away in frustration as she began her defense for her actions.

Emily looked up at the man that she had been living with for six months. He had won her heart over a long time ago but had officially done it after his break up with Beth. She wondered if the relationships with Haley and Beth had contributed to his attitude which had, over time, become visible to everyone on the team. Everyone on the team knew Hotch and Emily had smooothed things over with Strauss after she had found out about the secret couple. It wasn't long before they moved in together but it also wasn't long before the team started noticing Hotch's protective side concerning Emily. He wasn't himself anymore and Emily had received the effects from his pain. She had come to know that the consequences of her actions would not be simply ignored or forgotten and better yet, that they would be taken care of by Hotch's own repercussions.

"I'm sorry Hotch. I was just upset. I'll..." she began with her remorseful words as she begged him with her big brown eyes.

Hotch leaned closer to her ear. "I don't believe there was one word of my instructions that would leave room for argument, do you?" he said.

"No...no Sir." Emily said, looking away from him and back to the papers on her desk, knowing that there was no use in fighting him. The two of them had made a deal three months ago, which was three months after they had gotten an apartment together in Virginia. The decision to make this deal was Emily's idea. She hated disappointing Hotch in any way and when she failed him on the job, instead of taking action on the job to reprimand her, she suggested that he take care of the problem at home. He would punish her for her insubordination when he chose to. If a time arose when she did something, or didn't do something as the case may be, that the other team members knew about, she was reprimanded by him and Strauss at work and then reprimanded again by him at home. Some days she wished she had never made this deal and some days she was glad she did. It was obviously making a difference on the job because the incidents of her insubordination were becoming fewer as time went on, and she knew that. Was this crazy? Of course it seemed like it was when they first discussed it and the first time that Hotch ever took on the act, but now that things had changed and improved concerning her problem with authority, it all didn't seem so crazy anymore.

"Good. Have everything laid out...and I mean everything. I'm not sure exactly what I'll need."


	2. Chapter 2

Emily watch Hotch immediately walk toward his office as she continued to sit still, her spine stiffening. She was in a daze, staring into space until the slam of Hotch's office door brought her back to reality; the reality that in about an hour Hotch was going to punish her and there was no doubt that this time he would be more thorough than he ever had. She glanced up to his office window awkwardly and noticed him getting his things together. _'Is he leaving now?'_ she thought to herself. If he was leaving now before finishing the files he had told her about earlier, then he was pissed. She opened her desk drawer and took out a small bottle of Advil. She put four tablets in her mouth along with three swallows of her bottled water she'd had on her desk. She had a headache and she knew why. She was stressed. She didn't want to go home with him.

Against his own opinion of the idea, Hotch let her have a safe word incase she felt she needed it. He didn't really think she needed it. He felt that she would be able to handle anything that he put her through after what she'd experienced physically on the job. What he didn't know about was the emotional rollercoaster that the punishment was taking her on. Seconds later, Hotch barreled straight out of the office and down to Emily's desk. He stopped to stand beside her desk and looked down at her as she reluctantly looked up at him.

"Lets go" he whispered to her. "Now." he added firmly.

Emily stood immediately, not thinking for one second about defying him. She was going to talk to him tonight but she needed to let him calm down first. She couldn't do this anymore. She felt guilty for asking him to do this in the first place. When she first asked, it took him two weeks to agree to it. She tried to explain how she thought it would help and how she was such a procrastinator and how she couldn't control her anger, which had gotten her and Hotch both in hot water more than once, which infuriated Hotch. She wanted to change. She wanted to do her job without reprimandations. There were just some things that she couldn't control and the asshole in the interrogation room was a prime example. Hotch and Emily had experimented some in the bedroom using his tie, a blindfold and delivering quite a few spankings to her. He assumed the "punishment" wouldn't be a far cry from what they had done already but as time went on, Emily asked for a harsher punishment and Hotch gave it to her. She had never used her safe word but Hotch knew in the back of his mind that the time was coming to when she may actually need it.

As she raised herself up out of her desk chair, she looked around the bullpen to see that there was no one else around.

"Hotch...I need to talk to you" she told him lowly.

"You are not getting out of this one. I let it slide when you took it upon yourself to take an unsub down solo and what happened after that Emily?" he asked, knowing she knew the answer.

"No Hotch, that's not..." she began.

"What. Happened. Emily?" he repeated, towering above her, intimidating her. She wanted this, and Hotch finally agreed to it, and when Hotch set out to do something, there was no changing his mind. He had also seen how it had brought big changes concerning the job. The only reason he let her slide with the solo take down last month was because she had told him that she had a migraine. She didn't. She lied and he found out that she had lied, but never told her. He kept it to himself. He had left their apartment to run to the store. He had gotten all the way to the car before he realized he'd forgotten his keys. He walked back up to their second floor apartment finding Emily listening to her iPod. The device was attached to her hip and music was blaring in her ears as she danced around in the bedroom. She never saw him. This punishment agreement was doing things for Hotch also, but not such good things. He kept his knowledgement about the lie a secret. He selfishly kept it for himself incase he needed it later.

"A week later I did it again." she admitted, looking away from him.

"I rest my case. Go home Emily." he voiced a little louder.

"But..." Emily dangerously spoke.

Hotch was becoming irate quickly. He stared into her watery brown eyes.

"We may not have ridden to work together but don't think I won't pick up your pretty little ass and put you in my car. Now do you want to do as you're told or should I make a few rules up of my own for this little gem you came up with?" he lashed out with the loudest voice he could use at the moment.

"No" she replied and then grabbed her purse and jacket, then turning away from him.

Hotch grabbed her by the arm. "How do you address me?"

"Sir" she said nervously. "No Sir" she told him as she brought her hand to her forehead in pain and attempted to wiggle out of his grip. "I have a headache. Can you let go of me now please?"

Hotch laughed. "A headache?" he asked sarcastically. "Dont try that one on me again Emily. Go to your car. Straight to your car. I left something in my office. I'll be right behind you." he told her as he jerked his grip from her. Emily did as she was told and went directly to her car and drove home. As she exited the glass doors, an agent walked up to Hotch.

"Everything okay over here?" the agent asked.

Hotch moved closer to the small man. "Doesn't every look okay over here agent?" he asked sarcastically as the agent nodded his head. "I think it would be best if you would just mind your own business."

"Okay...geez" the man replied, avoiding Hotch's intense glare, and walked away.

Hotch went to his office to get something from his desk and then headed home. He was having a battle with himself. He knew Emily wanted him to do this and he only took this on because she wanted it and because he loved her enough to try to help her. Now things were different. Hotch was beginning to be sexually attracted to the idea of punishing her. He found that he literally climaxed from hearing her grunts and cries when he was unleashing his punishment on her. Sometimes he felt like a sexual sadist himself. One minute he could be craving to make love to her and not punish her and the next minute he wanted to make her gain repentance for what she had done. He had honestly had enough of her deviance and she wanted him to help her. He would have never thought of anything like this to help her but now he was so wrapped up in it that he couldn't and didn't want to stop. He tried but things had gone too far now and on his way home, Hotch had gotten as hard as ever as he parked in front of their apartment just thinking about what he wanted to do to her tonight.

Emily walked into their apartment and then into the bedroom, throwing her jacket and purse on the bed in frustration. She may not have been able to stand up to him at the office but she was going to when he got home. She just had to somehow get him out of the mode he was in. She knew she had made the deal but he wouldn't listen to her when she'd said she needed to talk to him. It frightened her that he was acting this way. He did tell her that if he was going to do this that it was going to be all or nothing and that if she really wanted to do this and thought that it would help her, then he was going to stick to his end of the deal. It was agreed that if she changed her mind, she wouldn't hold it against him later.

Emily went into the bathroom, ran a hot bath and soaked for about twenty minutes before getting out and dressing herself. The Advil had finally kicked in and she was able to just relax for a while. She had done a lot of thinking about how she was going to tell him that she wanted to break the deal. She put on shorts and a pink tank top over her matching pink bra and panties, which were his least favorite, leaving her feet bare. She chose to wear his least favorite out of spite. She brushed through her long wet hair and then went into the living room, turned on the stereo and went into the kitchen to fix herself a drink. She was going to need it. The beer in the fridge didn't look appetizing at all. The wine didn't either. She needed something more. She decided on the bourbon. She poured herself a glass and moved to the living room, taking the bottle with her. Forty minutes later, Hotch still wasn't there. She was concerned about him because he had told her that he'd be right behind her. After a couple more drinks, she decided to text him.

_Hey where are you?_

Three minutes later he replied.

_I'll be there soon. Just make sure you have everything ready. That's all you should worry about._

Emily had noticed that Hotch had begun to take a much harsher tone with her since all of this started and she even noticed it when things were going good and she wasn't being reprimanded.

_I'll see you when you get here._ She texted angrily.

She didn't receive another text from him but 15 minutes later, she heard the key in the lock of the front door. That sound had made Emily cringe many times before. Yes, she asked for the deal and she knew it had helped but that didn't stop the twist in her gut when he would come through the door with that persistent look in his eyes.

Emily remained on the couch, not looking toward the door as he entered. He walked to the couch to stand in front of her. He gripped the armrest to brace himself as he leaned over and kissed her on the lips gently. Emily didn't exactly reciprocate, mainly because the smell of his breath repulsed her. He was drunk. That's why he was so late getting home.

Hotch got the hint and pushed himself back up to stand before her though his eyes never left her. He obviously hadn't let Emily squirm long enough while waiting for him. That was his whole reasoning for being late. He had taken a cab to the bar for a few drinks. He needed to think and he wanted her to sit at home and think about what she had done. Obviously she hadn't.

"I'm going to take a shower and then we will get started" he told her, pulling his suit jacket off.

"Aaron..." she tried, finally looking up at him.

"Emily I believe you heard me" he replied loudly.

"I did. I just wanted to ask if I could talk to you for a few minutes first." she informed him, knowing she was manipulating him. She couldn't just start the conversation up by wanting to discuss ending the deal. He would cut her off immediately and never give her a chance to speak. He would just think she was trying to get out of it again.

Hotch sighed. "Whatever it is, it can wait another hour or so."

"An hour or so? Aaron...what the..." she replied as she stood up in front of him.

"Emily do I have to keep reminding you whose idea this was?" he said, his tone uncaring.

"No..you don't." she barely spoke, her voice breaking. She knew he was right.

"Good. I'm going to take a shower. I will meet you in the guest room in twenty minutes." he said and then walked heavily to their master bath.

Emily sat back down and remained there the whole time that Hotch was in the shower. She had a couple more drinks and the harder she thought about this, the more determined she became to tell him what she wanted him to hear, whether he wanted to hear it or not.

Big mistake.


	3. Chapter 3

Emily heard a door open and then slam. She assumed it was the guest room door. She heard his footsteps grower louder as he approached her in the living room, still on the couch with her tumbler. She stood up as he reached the couch, trying to match his brutal stare but not succeeding. His eyes bore through hers, his pupils larger than she'd ever seen.

"Is there a specific reason that you didn't do what I expected of you or did you just want to make things harder on yourself?" he asked, inching closer to her as she stood there holding her tumbler, the liquid sloshing back and forth inside it. She was trembling. What the hell has all of this done? What had she done? She knew at that exact moment that she was just going to have to say it.

"Yes, there is a specific reason Aaron. I'm done with this. The deal is over. I can't do this anymore!" she finally released.

Hotch's blood began to boil. "I will tell you when this is over!" he yelled, giving her no choice but to smell the liquor on his breath again.

Shocked at his intense tone, Emily's eyes widened and her heart raced. "Aaron" she said, being careful of her tone. "What is wrong with you lately?"

"What is wrong with me?" he replied abruptly with an unnerving snicker. "You Emily! You're what's wrong with me lately!" he revealed as he saw her mouth open in astonishment.

"Yes _you_ Emily. You asked me to do this. You asked me to help you with whatever this...this problem you have with your insecurities and your failures and your responsibilities, and most of all your insubordination episodes, and I only agreed to it because I love you. I wanted to help you, so I agreed. You told me you didn't want me to go easy on you or _'let things slide' _as you explained. You said it wouldn't do any good. Now you're trying to get out of it when we agreed to at least two months with no insubordination. And now here we are again two weeks after your last little stunt. So either you love the punishment or I'm not doing something right here because you continue to defy me."

Emily stood in front of him in the tension filled room. She took another drink and finally spoke the words she had been wanting to say. "Maybe it's _you _that likes it a little too much Aaron. Maybe you just look for any little thing to punish me for." she told him, watching his expression as it turned colder than ever. But his glare didn't take precedence over the nerve that the bourbon had given her. "You just can't stand it when you're not in charge of everything! You walk around doing the same things in the field that we all get reprimanded for! Well, I've got news for you Aaron! Everyone is tired of it, including me. You're not so infallible after all!"

Emily, along with the tumbler in her hand, fell to the couch as she felt his knuckles collide with her right cheek and the liquid splash against her chest. She sat dazed for a few seconds as Hotch stood over her, fuming. Before she could push herself up from the couch, Hotch had both of her wrists behind her back, pulling her from the couch. He pulled her up to her feet to stand, turned her around and pushed her down the hall toward the guest room. She couldn't believe he had back handed her. He never even so much as acted as if he was going to hit her.

"What the fuck Aaron? Let go of me!" she yelled, her voice shaking.

" Shut up Emily. Shut your mouth and walk" he said, one hand holding both wrists behind her back and the other buried in her hair, traumatically reminding Emily of being pushed down the halls of that smelly old building in Boston by Doyle. She remained quiet for the moment as she tried to figure out what to do and how to get him to calm down.

Instead of taking her to the guest room, where they both agreed would be the designated place for the punishment, he heading for their bedroom. Emily felt the tears rolled down her face as they entered the room and as she realized that he was going to scar the sacredness of the room they shared; the room where he had made love to her many nights and made her feel whole again, something she hadn't felt in a very long time, especially since Doyle.

Hotch kept Emily's wrists confined, which Emily knew would be bruised, as he pushed her carelessly to the bed on her stomach. As she felt his grip on her hair loosen, she heard the sound of clicking cuffs. Hotch slapped the cuffs on Emily wrists behind her back as he had done in the field so many times before. She laid on her stomach, turning her head to her left to find Hotch with his hand on his belt, pulling it roughly from the loops of his fine tailored pants. The smack his belt made when being released from the loops, made Emily jump.

"Aaron!" she literally screamed, knowing that with his demeanor, he was going to hurt her.

"Not another word Emily. This time we're doing things my way." he growled with depravity in his tone. "Dont you move" he said as Emily rolled over to her side, attempting to push herself up to a sitting position. He reached to her quickly, jerking his tie from his collar as he pushed her back down and flipped her back to her stomach. He laid his tie and belt at the foot of the bed and immediately straddled her body, his hard cock rubbing against her ass through her shorts.

"I'm going to take the cuffs off of you for a second and you're going to remain still... aren't you Emily?" he asked firmly, changing his plan he'd made earlier on the ride home.

Emily nodded her head until his firm grip of her hair stopped her movements. "Is that how you address me right now?" he asked, taking the key from his pocket, waiting for the appropriate answer.

"No...Yes Sir...I will. I'll be still." she replied weakly.

"I'm not going to hurt you Emily, not more than I think you can take" he said as he brushed her hair lightly with his hand. "I'm going to finally take you to the point to where we see lasting effects" he added as he released the cuffs. "And somehow I believe we will reach that tonight" he said as he moved off of her thighs but didn't leave the bed, not wanting to give her a chance to run.

"Turn over" he told her, noticing she complied without hesitation, lying on her back. He straddled her body, took a hold of her sore wrists and placed the handcuffs back on her, this time in front of her, then throwing the key to the nightstand just so Emily would have them in reach, but only by her vision. He reached to the foot of the bed and grabbed the tie. He put her hands above her head, looping the tie through the cuffs and tying them to one of the wide rungs on the headboard, leaving her little to no room to move.

"Be smart Emily. I'll be right back" he warned her, picking up his belt and taking it to the bathroom. She knew what he had planned and it made her grit her teeth and struggle against the bondage. She heard the water running and it just made her try harder for her escape.

As she struggled, Hotch could hear the bed creaking and the small grunts that filled the room.

"Emily... I swear to god, I'm warning you!" he yelled from the bathroom where he stood holding the belt under the hot water flowing from their garden tub. Emily remained still and quiet, resting until she gained her strength to try again. Hotch came from the bathroom, now in only his black boxer briefs, with scissors and his belt that was lightly dripping on the floor.

Emily laid on the bed, looking up at him as he laid the belt on the bed, then taking the scissors in his hand. He dipped the bed when he placed one of his knees beside her. She felt the cold scissors touch her skin and she knew not to move as he began cutting her shirt. She looked into his eyes, trying to change his mind somehow. She thought if she could just get him to look at her for five seconds without looking away, that she could bring him back from this dark place he was in. No hope. He determinedly cut her pink tank top from her body, revealing her pink laced bra. He jerked her shorts down roughly, leaving her matching panties on. He threw her shorts and the ruined pink top to the floor. He took in the beautiful sight before him and gave Emily and smile that made her skin crawl. He loved lingerie. He loved leaving some things to the imagination, at least for a little while. After removing most of her clothing, Hotch grabbed the wet leather belt and stood beside the bed in silence. He stood there thinking about the whole day and how he believed that Emily had pushed his buttons purposely. His anger arose higher than he could even comprehend anymore. It was like he was in the room, but he wasn't. He felt that he had no control over how he felt and that he wasn't going to be able to stop the punishment he felt she very much deserved.

Emily looked over at him as another tear ran down her face. He was oblivious to her emotions at the moment. "May I say something?" she asked, her voice begging him.

"Yes, but make it brief" he replied coldly.

"Please don't use a wet belt again. You know how much it hurt when we tried it" she reminded him vainly.

"Yeah, I know it did." he concured heartlessly as he moved to their closet, three feet away, to pull a blindfold from the box containing items the two of them had used before. In seconds, he was beside the bed again.

"Lift your head" he demanded, slipping the blindfold over her eyes as the suede soaked up her tears.

Emily laid in wait for what was about to come. She knew from sparing in the gym with Hotch, that she could never get away from him even if she got loose, so she contemplated accepting surrender. He had never given it to her like this. She was always on her stomach. She knew the front of her body would be much more sensitive and she had decided then and there that she was not going to let him break her.

He stood for a few seconds more. This was the moment when he would always ask for her safe word. He didn't. He just stood in a daze, gazing at her beautiful body that he was about to mark.

"No talking unless you're spoken to. Do you understand?" he asked.

"Yes Sir. I understand but could I ask something first?" she replied nervously.

"You're stalling Emily...what is it?" he asked.

"Could you tell me you love me please?" she asked her voice breaking.

"I do love you Emily but this has nothing to do with my love for you. Now, stop the tears." he ordered her crudely. "Count them Emily. Five." he said, knowing she knew full well what he meant.

"Yes Sir" she whispered, her voice weakening.

"I better hear you or there will be consequences. Understood?" he warned.

"Yes Sir" she replied a little louder.

Hotch gave her the first lash, his hand gripping the belt at it's buckle, as he brought the lengthy piece of wet leather across Emily's thigh, prompting her teeth to clench tightly. Taking a breath, she spoke. "One!" she said loudly as a grin graced Hotch's face as he felt the constriction his cock was causing in his underwear.

"Two" she shrieked as the leather struck her hip hard, making her body tense all over and causing her will to fight to increase. Hotch watched as Emily began to squirm. "Don't make it harder on yourself Em." he warned as the belt came down for the third time, this time striking her ass during her struggle.

This time the stinging went on and on as she tried to catch her breath. She found herself holding her breath in between his lashes, thinking maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad. Nothing helped and when he delivered the next blow, her back arched as the belt crossed over her breast.

"Three!" she cried out, shaking her head back and forth, determined not to beg him to stop.

"Ahh!" she moaned loudly, fighting the urge to scream as she took the fourth impact, realizing that he may have broken the skin. "Four!" Her will power was now shredded completely when she finally pleaded. "Please Sir."

He loved to hear her beg and the more she whimpered and moaned, the more he just wanted to fuck her senseless. "One more baby. You can take it" he teased as she felt the belt slowly running down her body to her clit. As much as she wanted this over with, she couldn't deny the sensation between her legs. Her clit ached as he continued to stroke it lightly, hearing her moan.

Hotch saw all of the red marks that had appear on her pale skin and revelled in the fact that he put them there. He watched as she bit her lip while he teased her over and over with the belt. He knew she was enjoying this more than she let on. He had seen how he'd been able to bring her to more than one orgasm with his punishing techniques.

"Sir.. " she tried, blind and helpless to his assault on her.

"Shh" he said quickly as he brought the belt down on her clit, hard but not as hard as the others had been.

"No!" she literally cried out, knowing he would be upset at her for not asking to speak and not continuing to count. She knew without a doubt that he would punish her for her inconsistently.

"I warned you!" he yelled as she heard his belt slice the air and make contact with her other thigh significantly harder than it ever had.

"F...Five!...Six!" she screamed, her voice slowly fading into a whimpering cry. She felt the blood as it ran down the side of her thigh.

Emily rolled her body over to it's side and Hotch saw the crimson shade of liquid as it fell to the white sheets of their bed. As far as she was concerned, this room would never be the same. She would never be the same.

Hotch's state of mind was completely different from Emily's. He was hard as a rock and the blood was painfully pulsing through his cock. "That's enough" he told her, relieving some anxiety from her immediately, giving her hope that he was finally finished. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. He stood up, laid the belt on the bed and walked back to the closet, retrieving two black straps with small buckles on them and walked back to the bed. Emily was trapped in darkness not knowing what he was about to do next.

"Aaron?" she slipped out carefully. "May I...speak?"

"What is it Emily?" he asked in an irritable tone.

"What are you going to do?" she asked in almost a whisper as he ignored her question.

Hotch moved to the foot of the bed and looked up at her lying there for the taking. "Give me your feet" he said reaching for her left ankle.

Emily remained quiet, miserably waiting for what he was about to do. The touch of his hand on her ankle made her feel a couple of different feelings. She loved him and the smallest amount of arousal came over her as he prepared to bind her ankles at the foot of the bed. She was sure she didn't deserve to be hit but she knew the words she used was uncalled for. She felt like she had disappointed him once again and that she should be punished. But undoubtedly, she was also scared. Hotch was in rare form and she had never seen him this way. Not even close to this.

He wrapped one end of the strap around her ankle and the other around the bedpost. He did the same for the other with no fight from Emily. She was emotionally and physically drained causing her own words spoken to an UNSUB to fill her mind.

_"Play along"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi :-) I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story so far. I know it's stressful but things will improve. This was actually the most stressful chapter to write and I assure you it will be stressful to read. Just be warned ;-) Thank you all so much for your reviews! **

There she laid face up on the bed, her hands above her head and her legs spread apart just the way he had imagined them all day.

"Do you understand why I'm doing this?" he asked her as she heard his voice travel around the room as he circled the bed.

"Yes Sir. Because I attacked a suspect... which is most likely our UNSUB." she replied, regretful that the last part of her answer was delivered in a sarcastic tone.

"Ughh" she screamed, right after hearing the jingle of his belt buckle. Her abdomen and side whelped immediately after a tremendous sting.

"You better watch that mouth Emily" he warned. "I'll have to put something in it if you don't and it's not what you may think. There's no way I'd give you pleasure right now and we both know how you get off on sucking my cock."

Emily somehow kept her voice from cracking as she took in the truth of his words. "I'm sorry Sir" she said firmly so that she was sure that he understood her words.

"I expect you to be still." he said as she heard him moving around the room. Hotch went to the closet once more to retrieve a couple of other items he wanted to use. He laid the items on the bed between her ankles. "I have a new treat. I was saving these in my office for a special occasion but tonight we're gonna find out if Emily likes it. I'm betting she will." he ridiculed her as she had no clue to what he was going to do.

Emily stayed still and took deep breaths as he picked up the scissors, sliced the front of her bra, and then the shoulder straps. He pulled the lacy garment out from under her body and threw it to the floor. As she remembered him telling her that he wouldn't hurt her, she felt the sudden force against her hips as he ripped her panties from her with a deep groan. Then she reluctantly remembered his exact words.

_'I'm not going to hurt you Emily, not more than I think you can take'_

Her will to be still was fading quickly as she realized he used the words 'not more than_ I _think you can take_.'_ instead of what _she_ thinks she can take. That's why he never asked for a safe word. She remained still but then jerked a little when the sound of a lighter broke the silence.

"This is going to be hot but only temporarily" he assured her as he held the long stick of wax in one hand and lit the fresh wick.

Emily whimpered but she didn't move a muscle. Hotch let the candle burn and watched as the liquid wax began to pool up around the wick.

"Relax" he said as he leaned the candle sideways over her thigh and let the hot liquid fall to her skin.

A groan escaped her mouth as her body tensed at the contact, but she didn't move. She felt the hot wax burn her skin but not worse than any burn she had acquired in the kitchen while cooking, though the burning itself was different.

Hotch didn't say anything though he did realize this wasn't much of a punishment for her if it didn't hurt. He noticed that her body relaxed and assumed this was having no effect. He moved the burning candle, now supplied with more ammunition, to her breasts. He gave no warning as he let the liquid fall once again.

"Fuck!" she screamed, not able to control herself. "Plea...Ahhh!" she began yelling when another splash of wax hot her other breast, causing her to bite her lip. This turned Hotch on even more. He loved her mouth and the more he watched her lick her lips and bite them, the thought of them wrapped around his cock seemed more and more enticing.

"I warned you Emily. What is it gonna take for you to believe what I say to you? I told you no talking unless you're spoken to", he reminded her. "Do you like this Emily? And don't you fucking lie to me because I will know." he lashed out.

Emily knew he could profile her even though her eyes were hidden. "Yes Sir. A little" she admitted.

"Does it make you ache for me?" he teased as he held the candle over her abdomen.

"Yes Sir, it does. Please Sir..." she begged.

"Please what Emily?" he tormented her.

"Not there, please" she pleaded with him.

"Emily...do you really think I'd harm that pretty little pussy of mine?" he asked, appauled at her assumption.

"I don't know Sir" she released as smoothly as possible when she felt a small bit of of the hot substance at her waist line. "Ahhh!"

Hotch laughed lowly. "I think you do. You'll learn to trust me one day. Maybe sooner than later huh?"

"Yes Sir" she replied, as she sniffled heavily, trying to hide her emotions.

Hotch knew she was crying again and had a fleeting moment where he had the smallest consideration for her feelings. Unfortunately for Emily, that didn't last long. He blew out the candle and took it to the bathroom sink. He ran water over the wick and then filled a small cup by the sink, drank it and then drank another. His thirst seemed unquenchable. He returned quickly, picking up the other secret novelty of his which laid between her legs. Hotch took off his boxer briefs and got on the bed and settled between Emily's legs, his cock hard as a rock. There was no blood in his brain at the moment and he felt dazed. He knew then that he shouldn't have let that guy in the bar talk him into that last drink.

He laid the novelty at the corner of the bed and gazed at the woman in front of him, who waiting nervously on his next advance on her.

"Have you thought about what you did today?" he asked almost sweetly.

"Yes Sir I have and I want to sincerely apologize" she said meaningfully.

"Oh don't worry... I've got the perfect way for you to make up for this." he said as he moved up, straddling her torso until his cock was right before her beautiful lips. Hotch held himself in his hand as he inched closer to her mouth. He tapped her lips with his cock somewhat hard.

"Open your mouth Em" he ordered. She did and he hastily put the tip between her soft lips.

"Fuck...you're mouth is so hot. Take me Emily..." he said, his tone rigid. "...all of me" he added as he reached to the back of her head, pushing more of himself into her mouth gently. Hotch had never experienced a high like this before, not even with her. He could hardly feel his fingertips that were now stroking her cheek. The only feeling he had was her wrapped around him so tight. The gentleness didn't last for long and Emily didn't know how much more of him she could take. The man was blessed. She turned her head to try to pull him out of her mouth but Hotch's adrenaline rush wouldn't let her. He pushed his cock inside her mouth another couple of inches when he realized that she couldn't take him further, and found it somewhere in his heart not to force her to. Emily felt the sweat falling from his body as he stroke himself in and out of the warmth of her mouth. _'Why is he sweating so profusely?'_ she wondered. It wasn't that hot in the apartment and he was barely moving over her.

"You really do enjoy sucking me don't you Emily?" he asked with a grin as he continued his motions with his hands holding her face, finally pulling himself from her mouth so she could speak.

"Yes...Sir...I do" she said, hoping, to no avail, that he would let her continue to talk. Hotch eased himself back into the warmness then pushing and pulling three more times while telling her how beautiful her lips looked around his cock.

"That's enough" he told her firmly, pulling his erection from her mouth, knowing the real reason he stopped was because he knew he was about to cum and he couldn't take anymore. Emily also knew it. She had come to know all of his moans, groans and that deep growl that he made when he was close.

Emily felt his fingertips at the sides of the mask. As he lifted the mask, her eyes adjusted and Emily was stunned, to say the least, at Hotch's appearance. He was very pale, as far as she could tell in the fairly well lit room. He was sweating badly and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Hi there" he said as he gazed intensely into her eyes, giving Emily the strangest feeling she'd ever had in her gut. He was doing nothing short of scaring her. "I have one more surprise for you baby."

"Aaron..." she began when he abruptly interrupted her and grabbed her face in his hand roughly.

"Do you want me to start all over Emily?" he asked meticulously.

"No...Sir. Plea..." she attempted but Hotch spoke over her words.

"That's what I thought. Now be quiet dammit" he replied hardly as Emily watched him move between her legs and lay his cock at her center. He place both hands on her hips. "This is gonna feel real nice" he told her as his hips moved forward, pushing his swollen cock into her to the hilt.

Emily gasp when her wrists pressed against the metal cuffs as Hotch pushed her body upward in the bed. She laid there as he fucked her mercilessly, letting her eyes scan their bedroom for any sign of a happy moment they'd shared before tonight. A small picture frame caught her eye. It was a picture taken at Disneyland of Hotch, Emily and Jack. Goofy had insisted he take a picture of the trio in front of the statue of Walt Disney. Jack looked so happy. They all did. Emily felt the sting from her tears as they trickled over the broken skin on her cheek that Hotch had caused earlier. The picture became blurry as Hotch pounded into her repeatedly and relentlessly, causing her vision to be jarred.

"Emily, I want you to know that I know you lied to me. You told me you had a headache after the Dillion case when you performed the solo take down." he told her as she took one thrust after the other. "You lied to me didn't you?" he tested.

"No Sir...you're wrong!" she replied loudly, her voice quivering during his vigorous strokes. She thought for sure that he didn't know the truth and that he was just speculating.

He struck Emily's left cheek with force and brought a loud cry from her lips. "There is no merit to what you're saying Emily because you are lying to me right now!" he yelled, watching the guilt appear on her face. "You see, I came back to get my keys and found you dancing around the bedroom with your fucking iPod." he informed her while gripping her hips unbelievably tight and entering her with a force like he never had. "Do you always find it easy to lie to me Emily?" His facial expression turned feral and she knew it was in her best interest to own up to what she had done.

"No Sir, I don't. It was the only time I've lied." she told him, hoping he would hear the honesty in her voice.

Hotch pulled his cock out of her, hearing her moan at the emptiness. "And that was one time too many." he replied as he reached behind himself at each corner of the bed and jerked the buckles on the straps that assisted his indulgence, releasing her ankles. Soon his large hands were all over her, flipping her over onto her stomach. She realized that was why he didn't put the cuffs around the headboard rungs themselves; so he could turn her over with her hands still tied. He grabbed her hips and jerked her ass into the air until her knees were under her. He lined himself up suddenly and entered her again, forcefully and completely.

"Ahh.." he groaned as he took on a whole new onslaught. With Emily's face in the pillow and her wonderful ass there for his eyes to feast on, Hotch rocked in and out of her ever so slowly and took in the beautiful sight before him. As droplets of sweat fell onto her back, his heart throbbed so hard that his breathing was becoming restricted to a point. He held onto her ass cheeks and squeezed hard before his palm and her tender skin collided, giving Emily the thrill she was trying to deny as she clenched around him. No matter what, she still loved him, as awful as it made her feel. However, she didn't want to give him pleasure either. She just wanted this to be over with, so she moaned what seemed to be pleasurable moans but it was only to end this intimidating and degrading act.

"Tell me Emily...how much do you trust me?" he asked, prompting her mind to wonder what the hell was going on in his head now.

"With everything that I am Aaron...Sir. Please...I meant Sir." she corrected herself, questioning her own reply as he drew out each stroke.

Hotch let that one slide as he smiled. "It's alright Emily." he assured her as he reached to get the last item he wanted to experience with. "Be still baby. I assure you that after I do this, you'll be begging me to do it again."

Emily turned her head to look behind her as he lashed out at her immediately.

"Turn around!" he said forcefully, spanking her hard on her ass.

She responded quickly without getting a chance to see what he had in his hand. Hotch continued to move in and out of her heat as he buried his thumb in his mouth and covered it with his saliva and then rubbed her rear opening with his thumb until it was drenched.

He felt her pussy tighten even more around him and he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold back any longer. He picked up the small plug and pushed it into her slowly. Emily moaned and wiggled until the two inch, cone shaped toy was set fully inside of her. As his strokes became drawn out and slow, she prayed in silence that he wasn't going to prepare her for what she assumed. Aside from the fact that she knew she couldn't take him like this; she didn't want to and was shocked at the fact that he would want to. Hotch had never as much as hinted that he would want to attempt something like this.

"Now... you're gonna cum for me Emily." he told her as he pull and pushed the toy. "Isnt that right?" he added.

"No..Sir...I can't" she told him breathless from his invasion. The pain was becoming unbearable for Emily and she began to beg. "Please Aaron...I can't...please stop!"

Hotch took his hand from the toy and let it remain inside of her as he reached up for a handful of her long hair, jerking her head back as he leaned over her back and spoke darkly in her ear.

"You. Will. Cum..." he challenged her, now pounding into her, determined that he was going to hold back until she did, but that plan was soon vanishing as his cock ached for its release. "...and I'll know if you fake it so don't fuck with me." he warned. Many women say they succeed in fooling their lovers but Hotch knew. He knew Emily and he knew her body. He had memorized the sweet sounds she would make for him and after one 'I really just want to go to sleep' faked orgasm, Hotch let her know he wasn't going to be deceived like that again. Now, here he was demanding that she forget all of the abuse she'd just received and cum for him.

With her wrists still confined, Emily quickly gripped two of the rungs at the headboard when Hotch pushed her head back to the pillow roughly, giving her what he knew would be his last few strokes. She laid her face against the soft pillowcase and officially gave up. She relaxed her body as much as possible as his cock entered her repeatedly.

"Here you go baby...you're gonna love this" he said with a deep snicker as he laid his thumb on the device's small switch and slid it over. Emily felt the vibration from the plug and it was almost more than she could bear as he continued to fuck her.

She hated this and contemplated hating him for doing it, until her rational thoughts knew that this wasn't him. He needed help and she was going to do something about it as soon as she was no longer under his incarceration.

With all her will, she continued to relax and when she did, it brought a vision to Hotch of the way things used to be; the way he would make love to her sweetly and slowly for hours. But right now the only thing on his mind was her letting go for him, giving him complete control. Even with the vibration inside of her and his cock filling her full, Emily was reluctant to climb that hill that she had promised herself she wouldn't. Hotch knew he was going to succeed when she clenched involuntarily around him, finally becoming significantly wet.

"That's my girl" he told her with a chuckle, then reaching around her hip, laying his thick hot fingers on her clit. "You're almost there Em" he coaxed, rubbing her clit in harsh circles. "I love it when you're filled up like this" he teased as his fingers slid over her soaked pussy. "It makes me so fucking hard. Come on baby. You know you want to."

Emily didn't say anything. She just focused on a memory when Hotch had come home one afternoon and had given her a small kiss which turned into making love on the sofa. She concentrated on that moment when she straddled him, riding him slow and deep as he lavished her breasts with his tongue. She was glad Hotch didn't speak again, blurring her concentration of a moment that was beautiful to her. She knew this was the only way she'd be able to cum and she wanted nothing more right now than for this to end. She knew if she didn't give him what he wanted now, he wouldn't stop until she did. She captured the instance on that day when he looked in her eyes and rubbed her clit with his thumb until she came all over him. As she closed her eyes and saw nothing but his beautiful eyes before her, her body began to tremble.

"Oh fuck yeah..." he said loudly in the most sinister, yet triumphal tone.

Emily dwelled in the past as she felt him easily pull the toy from her. He dropped it to the bed and began spanking her ass hard, alternating the slaps to each cheek repeatedly causing her to shatter around him. As she came hard with a lingering moan, Emily remained lost in the nostalgia she had sheltered herself with for the last two hours.

Hotch let go of Emily's hips and allowed her to fall to the bed and he did the same, soaking the sheets with his sweat. She laid there on her stomach, then slowly turned to her right side, avoiding laying on the lesion on her left thigh and afraid to move. She laid there beside him crying; what she thought was silently, as the pillow soaked up her tears. It wasn't long before she heard the jingle of the small silver keys and then the touch of his fingers as he released the cuffs from her and threw the keys on the nightstand. She brought her arms close to her chest and gently rubbed her sore wrists. Emily flinched when Hotch placed his hand on her shoulder and turned her over gently to face him. Her eyes roamed the room and finally made contact with his. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek as her body tensed. With no words, Hotch sat up on his side of the bed, placing his feet on the floor. He leaned over, picked up his boxers from the floor and lifted his body up from the bed just enough to slide them over his hips. He sat there momentarily, gathering his strength, before he stood up and staggered around their bed, bumping his shin against the footboard on the way to the bathroom. The impact should have hurt but Hotch didn't feel a thing as he entered the bathroom, shut the door behind him and slumped to the floor.

Emily was relieved when he left the room and it made her sick to her stomach that there was one second of the day when she felt scared of him. She pushed herself up quietly from the bed and stood carefully as her legs weakened under her. Needing to cover her body, Emily pulled the first clothing she could find from her dresser drawer. She put on sleep pants and a t-shirt, not bothering with undergarments. The cotton pants rubbed against her thigh causing some discomfort as she walked as quickly as she could to the half bath down the hall. Reaching the toilet just in time, Emily emptied the contents of her stomach. She was in shock. She retched once again before splashing her face with cold water, avoiding her sore cheek. She dried her face gently with the hand towel as she saw similarities of victims she had comforted many times. Her cheek was bruised and there was a small tear that she assumed Hotch's knuckle had made when he backhanded her. She held back the tears that she wanted to cry; maybe even cry for him. She knew what he had done happened not only because of alcohol. Hotch had been drunk a few times and initiate the two of them to have sex, but nothing like this. He had never laid a hand on her abusivly. She calmed herself as much as possible, then went into the bedroom she had shared with Hotch for months. She walked slowly toward the bathroom door and noticed the lack of noise coming from the other side of the door.

"Aaron?" she asked softly, as she laid her hand against the door.

"What?" he said coldly as he sat on the cold floor in his boxer briefs.

"Are you alright?" she replied with her hand now on the doorknob.

"I need to be alone Emily" came almost hauntingly from him.

"Aaron please. We need to talk." Emily said, trying her best to speak kindly to him.

"I said no! Don't you understand? I don't want to fucking talk!" he yelled and then remained silent.

Emily thought it was best that she didn't push him any further. She was scared of him, to an extent, and that fact prompted her to go in the living room and make a phone call which she knew would later infuriate him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Rossi", came the voice from the other end of the phone line. He really hoped they weren't being called in on a case.

"Hey...Dave...it's...it's Emily" she said, trying to control the tremble in her voice, but not succeeding.

"What is it Emily? Is everything okay?" he asked hurriedly.

"Umm...no. I don't think so" she said honestly.

"What's wrong? Is it Aaron, Jack?" he asked receiving nothing but a sharp inhale by Emily as she covered her mouth to try to silence her cry.

"Emily, talk sweetie or I can't help you. Are you hurt?" he asked, attempting to hear any clue as to what was wrong.

"I'm..I'm okay. It's not Jack. He's at a friend's house. It's Aaron." She finally released.

"What happened? Is he hurt?" he replied louder.

"He isn't...it's not...he isn't hurt...but I think something is wrong" she said wiping her tears again.

"Emily, I don't understand. Do you need me to come over?" he asked thoughtfully.

Emily knew she had to do this. She had to tell someone what was going on because she was afraid to be alone with Hotch while he was obviously still in this state of mind. She knew what had happened was completely unusual and wanted with all of her heart to believe that it was unpremeditated on Hotch's part.

"Yes...please and Rossi?" she called before he disconnected.

"Yes?" he asked curiously.

"What I tell you when you come over here and what you may see here needs to stay between us until we find out more okay, please?" she begged.

"Of course Emily. I'll be right there. Ten minutes." he assured her as he walk out of his house with his keys in hand.

"Alright..." she replied. As much as she hated the feeling, she was partially relieved that she wouldn't be alone with Hotch much longer. She laid her cellphone on the coffe table and walked back to the bedroom cautiously, noticing the light under the bathroom door still glowing. She quietly gathered all of the items that Hotch had used during the punishment. Her stomach turned sour again as she picked up each item, putting everything away before Rossi arrived. She took deep breaths to control the reoccurring nausea as she made her way to the closet, placing everything in the box, positive that she would discard it later. As she moved closer to the bathroom door for the second time, she heard a thump. She grabbed the locked doorknob and knocked, becoming frustrated when Hotch didn't answer.

"Aaron" she said louder but still, there was no reply. "Aaron!" she repeated before breaking into their own bathroom, hoping Hotch wasn't near the door.

Emily's heart throbbed in her chest as the door flew open. Hotch was slumped down on the tile floor, pale and soaked from his sweat. She got to him as quick as she could in her condition and grabbed his face in her hands.

"Aaron!" she yelled as she ran her hands through his wet hair, panicking. His head wobbled back and forth as she checked for a pulse at his throat. He was breathing but his heartrate was through the roof.

As Emily hurried back to the living room, she saw Rossi coming in the door. She grabbed her phone off of the coffee table.

"Rossi...it's Aaron. He's unconscious. He's...he's in here." she told him as she rushed back to the master bath while Rossi followed. She was dialing 911 with shaky hands as Rossi began asking questions that she dreaded answering. He bent down to check out Hotch himself, giving Emily time to call the paramedics. As soon as she had an ambulance on the way, Rossi began.

"What happened Emily?" he asked, looking up at her, giving him a view of her face. He stood up, raising his hand to push her hair from her face as she flinched away from him. Startled by her actions, Rossi didn't hesitate. "What the hell happened here Emily?" he asked confused and concerned.

"My appearance is the part you have to keep to yourself" she pleaded.

"Emily..." he tried.

"No Dave. Listen. It wasn't him." she told him, confusing him further. "I mean it was him...he did do this to me. But it wasn't him. He has been acting weird all day and tonight...when we got home...things just got bad quick. He was cruel to me, not just his actions but his words." she informed him as she became impatient. "Where is the damn ambulance?" she yelled.

"They'll be here Em" he assured her, as he continued to try to wake Hotch. "Has he been drinking?" he asked Emily, smelling the booze on Hotch's breath.

"Yes but it's not that. He's been drunk before but he's never done..." she began as he saw the pain in her expression, realizing there was more to this story than met the eye.

Soon they heard the ambulance and Emily rushed to answer the door, while Rossi stayed with Hotch, who was slowly becoming alert as the paramedics, along with a gurney, reached the bathroom.

"What are you doing here Dave?" Hotch yelled as he flung his arms in front of him. "Leave me alone! I just wish everybody would leave me the hell alone!" he screamed as the paramedics entered the bathroom. He looked up at Emily, infuriated. "You called the fucking cops on me?!" he threw at her in a resentful tone.

"They're not cops, they're EMT's and they're going to help you." she told him sweetly.

"I don't need any godddamn help!" he said as he tried to get up from the cold floor. He was so exhausted and weak that he couldn't focus on anything. "You will regret this Emily" he warned her, adding intimidation with his expanded pupils.

One of the paramedics tried to calm Hotch down as he shined the medical light in his eyes, seeing the great amount of dilation.

"Get that fucking thing out of my face!" Hotch yelled, knocking the instrument out of the man's hand.

"What's his name?" the paramedic asked Rossi.

"Aaron, Aaron Hotchner" he replied, worried for his best friend.

"Aaron...Aaron" the paramedic said firmly. "My name is Chris. You need to calm down and let us help you." he began before Hotch pushed him back so harshly that he fell back to the floor.

"Don't tell me to calm down! I want you out of my house Chris!" Hotch screamed as he dove for the man again. "Get out!" he growled. Emily covered her face in shock, seeing a side of him that she'd never seen before. She blinked her eyes rapidly trying to prevent her emotions from surfacing.

"Get the gurney!" the paramedic told his partner as he fought to overpower Hotch enough to push himself up from the floor. "What is he on?" he asked Emily with a serious tone, as he worked with Rossi to control Hotch.

"Nothing! He's an FBI agent. He had a few drinks at the bar on the way home, that's all." Emily said with certainty.

It took Rossi and both paramedics to dominate and restrain Hotch as Emily looked on, breaking into tears. She watched as they strapped him down to the gurney and injected him with a mild sedative. His eyes rolled around, catching glimpses of Emily, then his eyelids flickered and his body finally relaxed. Emily stepped closer to the gurney, feeling less frightened, then reached for Hotch's limp hand. She looked down as she moved her hand lightly over his. She looked at his still pale face as the medics checked his vitals, gave him oxygen and prepared for the ride.

After attending to Hotch, Chris approached Emily. "Mam, it's obvious to me by Aaron's demeanor and your bruised eye, that he may have done this to you. Is that correct?" he asked carefully.

Rossi knew the situation was awkward for her so he intervened. "Actually we're both agents and we'll take care of it from here." he informed him.

"Sir, this woman needs medical attention" he suggested.

"No. I'm fine" Emily interrupted. "Really." she added, seeing Rossi's concern for her.

Rossi felt that it was her own decision and had a feeling that if he fought her on the matter, it could upset her worse than she already was. "I'll make sure she's taken care of." he replied with a reassuring tone.

"Yes Sir" the medic replied. "We better get going. Will one of you be riding or driving to the hospital?" he asked.

"Yes" Rossi replied. "I'll be there soon."

"Okay Sir" he said and then the two medics moved quickly to get Hotch to the ambulance.

Emily watched out of their bedroom window as the ambulance pulled away while Rossi stood in the now quiet room with her.

"Are you alright Emily? You really should see a doctor" he said as he stepped cautiously closer to her.

"Dave, really...I'm fine" she began as she turned away from the window to face him.

"Look...Emily, I don't know what happened and I will accept that its none of my business if there's a medical reason that he did this to you, but if there's not, I will personally kick his ass. Don't think this old man doesn't have a few tricks up his sleeve." he teased lightly, trying to help ease some of the tension for her.

With a small grin, Emily began to tell Rossi at least some bit of information before he left for the hospital, planning to leave out some of the details. "He came home drunk and we had a fight. He was yelling and screaming at me and when I tried to take up for myself...he hit me. Something is wrong Dave. I'm sure you saw how disoriented he was." she said positively.

"Most definitely and I'll know more when I get to the hospital" he told her, noticing her bruised wrists. He walked to her and took her hand, stretching it out for him to see before she could pull away. "What the hell..." he started.

"I'm alright Rossi" she told him once again as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Emily...was this rape?" he asked carefully, hoping his assumption was absurd.

With her head lowered, she stalled her reply, then whispered. "Yes."

"Oh my god Emily. What was he...look...alright, you're going with me to the hospital." he demanded. "Aaron would want you to."

"Dave...right now, I'm not too worried about what Aaron would want me to do. I don't need to go. There is nothing they can do and, of course, I'm not pressing charges. Please, just go check on him and I'll be there later okay?" she begged.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? For you to be with him right now?" he said after seeing the Hotch's outburst earlier.

"I don't know Dave. He needs me doesn't he? I mean isn't that what all this is about? Love? To be there for each other no matter what? He didn't mean to do this Dave!" she said as the tears began to flow. "I have to believe that." she cried as Rossi hugged her gently, letting her release whatever she needed to.

"Alright...I'll tell you what...you take some time, soak in the tub, have a drink and then call me. I'll let you know what's going on and then you can decide what's best for you." he suggested as he broke the embrace and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Okay?"

"Okay" Emily replied and then took in a deep breath and released it. "Thank you Dave. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come over here."

"Anytime kid" he said, tapping her chin lightly with his finger before walking out the door.

Emily went into the bedroom, gathered some clean clothes and headed for the garden tub for a long bath. The water stung various places on her skin but it felt great otherwise and she just wanted to purify herself in anyway she could. After spending twenty minutes of crying, bathing and washing her hair, she poured herself a glass of bourbon and after a couple of swallows, she silently thanked Dave for the suggestion.

Rossi entered St. Sebastian hospital and after hounding the nurses at the front desk, was finally informed by the doctor just what was going on with Hotch.

"Hi, I'm doctor Jackson. I've been attending to Agent Hotchner. We've ran an RIA test and..." he began as Rossi gave him a curious look. "It's a test used to screen serum, urine and stomach contents for LSD and it's metabolites." he added.

"LSD?" Rossi replied, shocked. "There has to be a mistake..."

"Theres no mistake. Mr. Hotchner showed accurate symptoms for use of this drug and his test are conclusive." he said positively. "Have you ever known Mr. Hotchner to use drugs?" he asked.

"Absolutely not. He's an agent." Rossi defended his friend.

"Agent Rossi, I can't tell you how many members of law..." he tried as Rossi stepped closer to him.

"I don't care who you've seen in here, this man wouldn't do drugs." he informed him harshly.

The doctor took in his look of certainty. "Well then it had to be given to him by way of injection or orally and no needle punctures were found." he explained.

Rossi stood there for a moment as Emily's words to the paramedics came back to him. _'The bar!' _he said to himself. He remembered how Emily had said he stopped by the bar on the way home.

"Alright, I'll take care of it. How is he now?" he finally asked.

"Healthwise, he's alright. As I'm sure you know, this drug does more harm psychologically than physically. He's still under the influence of the drug. The test showed that he had approximately 30 micrograms. That's not a tremendous amount but its enough to cause this kind of delirium." he said, troubling Rossi further.

"Delirium?" he questioned immediately.

"Yes Sir. Mr. Hotchner's actions actually became more threatening to himself and to others after he arrived." he told him, seeing the surprised reaction from Rossi before continuing. "The sedative he received by the attending EMT's didn't suppress his mood for long. We've given him Thorazine and..."

"An antipsychotic?" Rossi confirmed.

"Yes Sir. We've had to move him to our psychiatric ward here in the hospital...just for the time being. The effects from the drug should wear off with the next few hours." he assured him.

"Could I speak to him?" Rossi asked, having a feeling his attempt was useless.

"Not at the this time...not until the effects have worn off. He needs to be away from any sounds, scenery and people to be able to cease his hallucinations and paranoia." he told him.

"Just give me a few minutes with him." he begged.

"I can't allow it. This man has already hurt two of my employees and I can't take the risk that he'll hurt someone else." he said firmly as he looked over Rossi's shoulder at Emily as she approached them, her make up concealing her bruise as much as it could.

Rossi turned to face Emily as she began to make it clear to him that she had heard the last words the doctor had spoken.

"I wanna see him" Emily said, her voice shaking and tears rimming her eyes.

Rossi turned to the doctor as his hand laid on Emily's shoulder. "Doctor, thank you for your time. Will you continue to be his doctor during his stay?"

"I've actually turned him over to Dr. Moody from the psychiatric ward but I will be checking on him from time to time." he promised.

"Thank you" Rossi told the physician. Emily waited for the doctor to step away before she began her questions.

"What did they say? And give it to me in English." she said.

"Alright, sit down" he replied as he took her by the wrist and led her to one of the nearby chairs, feeling her flinch again. "I'm sorry. I forgot..."

"It's alright Dave...I know." she consoled him. "Tell me."

"Aaron was drugged. LSD." he said reassuring her feelings of fear that Hotch had done this to her of his own free will. "It was a low but significant enough dose to cause the effects that you are aware of and significant enough to cause him to hurt you like he did." he told her watching her eyes divert from his and down to the floor. "He didn't mean to do this to you Em. We know he didn't take this drug on his own."

"I know...but he's alright? I mean he's going to be okay?" she pleaded.

"He will. They have to keep him in the physc ward until the drug wears off." he informed her prompting her to push herself out of the chair.

"Physc ward? Oh Rossi...they can't..." she cried.

"Emily, he's not stable. He's lashing out and being physical with the hospital employees. We can't see him right now." he said, seeing that his words were breaking her heart. He told her everything the doctor had told him as Emily sat there letting the tears flow.

"I'm going to the ward Rossi and don't try to stop me." she said as she took a tissue from her pocket and patted the tears away.  
Seeing her insistence, Rossi complied. "Alright, we'll go but don't get your hopes up on seeing him. They've been pretty clear about the rules."

Emily began walking down the hall, following the signs above their heads that would lead them in the right direction. When they reached the ward, Emily fought the doctors and nurses on the fact that she could get through to Hotch. It was a losing battle that eventually ended with the nurses taking the both of the agents to a small room set up with monitors that were recording different patient's actions.

Emily's breath was taken from her completely as she stood on shaky legs, viewing the monitor that produced an image that she wasn't sure she'd ever get out of her head. Hotch was in a padded room, dressed in hospital attire, pasting the floor, screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. He was yelling something that she couldn't quite understand but his affirmation consisted of a pregnant Emily that had taken his daughter from him. The tears streamed down Emily's face and her body shook uncontrollably.

"Come on Emily, let's go. We'll check on him later." he promised.

"Mm..Kay" she replied, walking out of the room looking back at the man she loved as he screamed her name over and over.

"Emily!" Hotch screamed in the most unnerving tone. "Where is she? Where is that bitch?!" he continued as Rossi pushed her gently to the door. "Emily!"

Hotch shouted again, then released a disturbing sound of anger, chilling her and Rossi both to the bone.

As they stepped into the hallway, Emily tried to catch her breath, near hyperventilation. Rossi placed his arms gently on her shoulders, looking in her eyes, cringing at her bruised cheek.

"It's not him Emily. You know that. We have to just give this some time. He'll be alright" he said reassuringly.

"But will he be the same? You know users of LSD have had reoccurring episodes years later." she reminded him as he knew the words she spoke were true.

"It's rare but yes, it can happen and that's a bridge we'll have to cross when and if we come to it...okay?" he said, hoping to give her some kind of comfort.

"Okay...yeah..I know. I'm sorry..." she apologized, wiping her tears.

"Emily Prentiss, Don't you dare apologize." he said. "We just need to find out who did this and concentrate on getting him better. You won't be alone. I''ll handle everything with the team and you just take care of you and Aaron." he added kindly. "It's very late and you need to get some rest. I'll talk to them at the desk and make sure we get notifications of any change."

"Okay...thank you." she replied, calming more and more as the man she had always thought of as a father alleviated some of her fear.

"Do you want to stay at my place tonight?" he suggested. "Or would you rather be alone?" he wondered, giving her the choice to make on her own.

"I'll go home but thank you for the offer." she said with a small smile.

"Anytime...and I mean anytime. I don't care if it's the middle of the night Emily, you call me." he insisted.

"I will. Make sure they have our numbers." she reminded him.

"I will, don't worry." he told her, then watched her walk to the elevators as he headed to the nurses desk to give them his and Emily's information.

"Emily drove home in a daze. She knew someone had done this to Hotch and the fact that they could have very well ruined her relationship with him, infuriated her beyond belief. She turned the key in the front door and stepped inside slowly, feeling the uncomfortable silence. She was exhausted. She wasn't going to sleep in their bedroom and the guest room was out of the question. She changed her clothes, taking a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from the clothes dryer, avoiding their bedroom for the night. She poured herself another drink and curled up on the couch with the blanket that was spread over the back of the couch. She looked at her wrists and thighs, scanning over the marks Hotch had inflicted on her. She began crying uncontrollably once again and after sitting her drink on the coffee table, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

An hour and a half later, visions of her and Hotch appeared. There was no sound, just silence with inaudible screaming from Hotch. He was screaming helplessly as a completely conscious Emily was in the possession of an unsub. All she could focus on in the dream was an evil hand performing a cesarean on her while Hotch was constricted in a straight jacket, forced to watch the agonizing act. After pulling the baby from the womb, the unsub threw his hands up, releasing the baby girl, throwing her to Hotch, who in no way possible could catch the child. Right before the infant came in contact with the floor, Emily awoke in a panicked scream, sweating and crying. She ran to the bathroom down the hall, once again spilling the contents of her stomach. She cleaned up, shaking tremendously, then picked up her cellphone. Her fingers accomplished dialing Rossi's number and soon a sleepy but concerned Rossi answered.

"Emily?" he asked hurriedly. "You alright?"

"Can I stay with you after all?" she asked, almost embarrassed but simply telling Rossi that she couldn't be alone.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." he replied warmly, then ended the call.


	6. Chapter 6

Having her third cup of coffee of the morning, Emily sat at the bar in Rossi's huge kitchen. As she sat there, gaining her strength for the day ahead, her mind went back to a night the team had shared at that same bar while Rossi made one of his favorite dishes, teaching the team the fine art of Italian cooking.

Rossi had gotten up early that morning, brewed a pot of coffee, then left to pick up Jack from his sleepover and take him to Jessica's for the night. Emily knew she and Hotch were going to have to lie to the little boy because there was no way he could know his daddy had done such a horrible thing.

Emily finished her coffee and dressed to go to the hospital. No word had come during the night concerning Hotch but as Emily put on her boots, her cellphone rang.

"Hello" she answered.

"Hi, Is this Emily Prentiss?" the voice replied.

"Yes, yes it is. Who is this?" she asked curiously.

"This is Dr. Moody from the physc ward at St. Sebastian hospital." he replied.

"Is everything okay with Aaron?" she rushed her words.

"Yes, that's why I'm calling. Mr. Hotchner is doing well. The effects from the drug have worn off and he should be able to leave here in the next couple of hours or so. I do need to speak with you in depth before he goes home. There are just some things that you need to know. Also he will need a change of clothes from home. Will you be with Aaron at his home?" he asked.

"Yes I will." she replied.

"Okay, and are there any children in the home?" he continued.

"Yes, he has a son who is eight years old." she told him.

"Okay well it may be in the child's best interest for him to stay somewhere else if possible for the next few days." he informed her.

"Why?" she asked, confused and worried. "I thought Aaron had improved."

"He has...but for the next few days and maybe up to a week, Aaron will be fatigued and irritable, not to the extreme that he was, but he will be." he explained.

"Okay...I understand." she assured him.

"It would be good if you could make sure Aaron takes his medication. It may slip his mind." he said.

"What kind of medication?" she asked.

"Just a week's worth of Xanax will be sufficient. It's just a high enough dose to calm him down if a flashback of the usage of the LSD occurs." He said and then asked Emily to hold for a moment. When he returned on the line, he sighed, then paused for a moment.

"Yes...hello?" she asked, curious if the call had been disconnected.

"Yes, I'm sorry. It was one of the orderly here at the ward. Aaron is asking for you repeatedly. He's not disorganized, they said he's just insistent on seeing you." he explained. "And he wants to get out of here."

"Okay...alright, I'll be there in about 20 minutes." she replied.

"Okay, I will need to see you before you take him home." he reminded her.

"Yes Sir, thank you for everything." she said.

"You're welcome. See you soon." he said, then hanging up the phone.

Emily knew that if she called Rossi before going to the hospital, he'd never let her go alone. She wanted to go alone. She wanted to talk to Hotch alone. She knew what the doctor said about how Hotch's demeanor may be at times, but she felt that she could handle it and his medication would help. She texted Rossi and asked how Jack was doing and made sure that he got settled in with Jessica. She wanted to call Jack tonight and at least talk to him for a minute. She needed to hear his sweet innocent voice, knowing it would help her have a positive attitude concerning the future of her relationship with his father. She needed strength and she knew she could find it through him. He meant the world to her and their bond had grown tremendously since she moved in with the Hotchner men. Jack only wanted Emily to read to him, or vice-versa, at bedtime. He told his dad that it was because Emily's voice was soft and because she could do the character voices better than him. Hotch agreed.

As Emily pulled into the hospital parking lot, she called Rossi and told him that Hotch had been released and informed him about his condition. She let him know that she was picking Hotch up now and that he didn't need to come. Rossi was very concerned about how things would be when they got home but Emily assured him that everything would be fine. She had the short meeting with Dr. Moody covering the use of Xanax that Hotch would be taking and the few Valium that he wanted her to have available if Hotch needed to take them. He didn't want her to give the Valium to him unless it was absolutely necessary. He also explained to her that Hotch doesn't remember what happened during most of the LSD trip. He only remembers going to the bar, having a few drinks and then having a fight with Emily. He admitted to the doctor that he didn't even remember the drive home. The doctor informed Hotch that this was perfectly normally with the use of this drug and that peices of the night would probably come to him later when he was in familiar surroundings and was back at home with Emily and his son.

The ride home with Hotch went well as far as Emily was concerned but mainly because Hotch had slept during the twenty minute ride. The doctor had told her about the sleepiness and fatigue that he would be experiencing so she just let him sleep. After Emily pulled into the parking lot of their apartment, she shook Hotch awake by gently shaking his forearm with her hand. When he became more awakened and looked over at Emily, he saw her bruised cheek with the help from the sunlight coming through the windshield.

"Emily what happ..." he said, his words crumbling as visions of the fight came to his mind. "Did I do that to you?" he asked, praying for a negative answer.

"Aaron, let's just get you inside and we'll talk and..." she began before Hotch asked her again, this time with sincerity in his voice.

"Em, did I hurt you? Tell me." he begged.

"Yes...Aaron, we had a fight and you hit me. Are you telling me that you don't remember?" she asked kindly.

"I remember fighting with you but no, I don't remember hitting you." he said truthfully. Emily said nothing, only lowering her head to stare at the steering wheel.

"I'm so sorry Emily." he said with a tone of remorse.

"I know...it's okay Aaron. You were drugged. I know it's unlikely but Rossi and Morgan are working on finding out who did this to you. I know you would have never hit me before this. We've seen what drugs can do to people Aaron." she said, assuring him that she knew it wasn't him that night; not the man she knows.

Frustrated, Hotch began abusing himself mentally for his actions the night before. "It's not okay Emily and I wish I could take it back."

"I know. Look, let's go inside. Are you tired?" she asked, taking her seat belt off and opening her door.

"A little yeah." he replied, exiting his side of the car, walking around the car to walk inside with her.

As they walked through the door to their home, Hotch was curious of Jack's whereabouts. When Emily explained what the doctor had said about the child not being in the home for a few days, Hotch insisted that Jack come back immediately.

"Can you go pick up Jack from Jessica's house please?" he asked in an edgy tone.

"Aaron...the doctor said..." she began.

"I don't care what the doctor said. I want to see my son. I'll go get him if you won't." he warned her. "Do you think I'd really hurt Jack?" he asked her with curiosity in his eyes.

Emily looked at him, frightened that her words may come out in a way that could upset him. "No... but I never thought you'd hurt me either." she said, walking away and into the kitchen to get Hotch a glass of water for his medicine, or maybe it was to bridge the distance between them. If she had to be honest, she was a little nervous around him. "You can't drive right now Aaron and I can't leave you alone."

Following her into the kitchen and sitting at the bar, Hotch assured her. "I'll be fine here for a little while" he told her with a grin.

"I can't Aaron. I'm trying to help you here and do what is best for everyone. I'll ask Jessica to bring Jack over and we'll see how it goes but I'm not leaving you here alone." she informed him, sliding a glass of water to him, then removing one of his prescribed pills from a small white bag and handing it to him.

"Thanks" he said, reluctant to take the pill, but then finally swallowing it.

Emily wore jeans and a long sleeved sweater to the hospital. She dreaded the moment Hotch found the marks and bruises on her body because at this point, unfortunately for Emily, he didn't remember much of what happened the night before.

"Look...Emily, I don't know what exactly happened last night but the therapist said I had hurt you and now that I see that I have, it makes me sick. I'm sorry. I wanna find the son of a bitch that did this to me." he said angrily.

"You mean...us. He did this to us." she told him.

"I know Em. I never should have gone to the bar. I should have just come home." he said, noticing Emily's look of agreement. "I know we fought about the punishment. I didn't go into that detail with the therapist but I do remember that much. Will you try to remind me how the conversation went and what happened exactly?" he asked, not remembering the most traumatic part for Emily.

"I...I will, but not now okay? You need rest and I need to call Jessica." she said.

Extremely curious as to what happened, Hotch unwillingly agreed. "Alright. I'm going to lay down until Jack gets home."

"That's probably a good idea." she said.

"I could really use some company" he said, wiggling his eyesbrows slightly, then getting the hint that she wasn't comfortable."

"I'm sorry. I can't do that right now." she said, seeing his disappointment.

"It's alright. I understand." he said kindly. "I'm gonna lay down. Please wake me when Jack gets here." he asked.

"Okay" she replied, surprised that he didn't take the conversation further. "Get some rest." she added as he made his way to their bedroom.

Emily kept herself busy after calling Jessica, trying not to dwell on the previous night's events. She fixed a pan of lasagna for dinner and let it cook while she did the laundry and some dishes. Jack was in the middle of a game off mini golf with Jessica when Emily called, so Jessica agreed to have Jack there in a couple of hours. That would give Hotch time to rest and Emily time to prepare for their talk later. If Hotch was that upset over hitting her, how would he react to what else he had done to her? She had decided they wouldn't even begin the conversation until Jack was in bed. She knew Hotch would see the effects of what he had done when Emily got dressed for bed, so there was no hiding it. Emily never slept in more than tiny shorts and a tank top, and usually less than that, and he would know a change in her ritual would seem odd.

Rossi called Emily's cell for an update on Hotch and to see how Emily was coping. Emily assured him things were good and that Hotch was resting. Rossi informed her that he and Morgan had spent over an hour and the bar Hotch had gone to and after talking to the bartender and a few customers, absolutely nothing came of their attempt to find out any strange activity that night. Rossi couldn't hang up without letting her know that he was there for her in any way she needed him and that with taking on day at a time, things would improve.

Right on time, Jack trampled through the door, thrilled to be home and thrilled to see Emily.

"Hey Emily! Guess what?" he requested as his eyes lit up, bring in that innocence that Emily needed to be in the presence of right now. "Wait...what happened to your eye?"

"Just a bang up. I'll explain later. Tell me your news." she said, smiling at Jessica.

"Guess!" he reminded her.

"Umm...I don't know? Did you beat Jessica in mini golf?" she asked, smiling down at him.

"No...but I did get two holes in one!" he said proudly and loudly.

"That's great Jack. You'll be a pro in no time." she encouraged him. "Jack, why don't you run and finish up that new book you got. You only have a few pages left. " she reminded him.

"But I wanna see Dad." he argued. Jessica told me he was at home too.

"I know...and you can soon. He's resting right now." she told him, hoping to have a few moments to talk to Jessica.

"Okay" he said, not knowing anything that had taken place in the last twenty-four hours. He went to his room and began reading while Emily explained everything that she could to Jessica, within reason, while the two of them sat on the couch.

"So there a no way to find out who did this?" Jessica asked.

"Not really. Too many people came in and out of the bar and it's already been nearly a day since he was drugged." she said, frustrated about the situation herself.

"Well, is there anything I can do?" she asked thoughtfully.

"I don't think so but Jessica, you've been a great help already." she said with a smile. "And you don't know how much that means to us."

"Anytime Emily." she said, pushing herself up from the couch.

"Jessica?" Emily called before Jessica turned for the door.

"You've known Hotch a long time. I hate to asked this but have you ever known him to lay a hand on anyone outside of the job?" she asked tentatively.

"Absolutely not. It's just the drug Emily. Haley never gave even as much of a hint that he ever abused her, and she would have told me. She always said he had quite the temper but that's as far as it ever went." she said positively.

"Yeah...I know...it's crazy of me to think this but I guess I just needed some reassurance you know?" she said with tears forming in her eyes.

"It's okay Emily. You have every right to be cautious about this. Listen, if you ever wanna talk, just call me." she suggested kindly.

"I will" she agreed, realizing how much her and Jessica's relationship had improved over the last few months.

"Okay, you take care. I'm a phone call away for whatever you guys need." she said as she made her way to the door and left, prompting Emily to close and lock it behind her.

Emily walked slowly down the hall, feeling her sore muscles with every step. She peeked in at Jack who was now playing his gaming system very quietly. Hotch was a great father and he knew that Emily would be a great mother and enjoyed watching her with Jack everyday. Jack listened to Emily and respected her as much as a nine year old was capable of. He didn't push the limits with his Dad too often but there was just something about Emily's way of getting through to Jack in a way that Hotch couldn't. He loved their bond and he was just happy that Jack was able to connect with Emily the way that he had himself. He wanted Jack's wounds from the loss of his mother to heal too and Emily could help him do that, not better than Hotch, just in a different way.

"Jack? You wanna quietly wake up your dad? I know he wants to see you" she said.

"Yeah!" he agreed somewhat loudly until Emily held her index finger over her lips.

"Shhh" she reminded him.

Jack gave her a quick 'sorry' and walked into the master bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed as he began to quietly wake Hotch.

"Dad..." he said in a whisper, receiving no reply from Hotch as Emily looked on. "Dad!" he repeated, touching Hotch on the arm, shaking it gently. "Dad!" he repeated louder. "Wake up."

"What?!" Hotch answered abruptly as he sat straight up in the bed, jerking awake suddenly, then seeing his son wearing a frightened look.

"I'm sorry buddy. I had a bad dreamthats all. How are you? Did you have a good time with Jessica?" he asked with a smile, covering himself with the bedsheet. He had stripped down to his boxer briefs before getting into bed and Emily's mind flashed back to the night before as she looked at his body. She wanted these feelings of fear and anxiety to go away and she wanted them to now.

"Yeah I did!" he said, repeating the same wonderful news to his father about his golfing skills.

"That's great buddy. How about you let me get dressed? Maybe we can watch the rest of that Titanic documentary a little later." he said.

"Okay but Dad?" he asked in a curious tone. "Why aren't you working today? I know Emily don't feel good because she's got a big bruise on her face but why are you not working?" he asked, demanding an answer.

Looking up at Emily's helpless expression, Hotch knew he had no choice but to hide the truth. "I'm just not feeling well either Jack. I think we both just need some rest and some of Em's good cooking." he added, with a wink to Emily.

Emily smiled and helped Hotch change the subject. "I made lasagna" she said, watching Jack smile from ear to ear.

"Yummy! Lets go eat Dad!" he yelled.

"It isn't quite ready yet Jack" Emily said. "You can play until it's ready okay?" she suggested, eyeing Hotch, hoping that was okay with him.

"Jack, just let me get dressed and I'll be out in a minute okay? he said, looking up at Emily with a smile.

"Okay" Jack replied hurrying out of the room.

When Jack left the room, Emily began to follow when Hotch called out to her.

"Hey Em?" he said with a sleepy voice.

"Yeah?" she replied, turning back to see him still sitting up in the bed.

"I love you" he said, watching her eyes move from his to the wall. "Do you doubt that now?" he asked in an extremely worried tone.

"No. Absolutely not. I love you too Aaron" she said, still standing in the doorway.

"Shut the door and come here." he told her, patting the bed.

Emily shut the bedroom door and moved to sit beside him. She hated being in this room alone with Hotch right now and she knew he'd expect nothing other than for her to sleep next to him, not knowing the whole story. She had to tell him or lay with him. It was a hard decision actually. She loved this man and she was positive that he didn't mean to do this to her but at the same time, she didn't know what his touch may do to her mentally and emotionally.

"Are you alright?" he asked sincerely.

"Yeah...I'm good." she assured him, as he rubbed her back lightly feeling her flinch but not removing his hand.

"Emily...you're trembling" he whispered.

"I know. I'm okay really." she told him, laying her hand on his when she heard the oven timer alarm. "We'll talk later. I promise. Lets eat." she said, standing up from the bed, feeling his hand tight around hers.

"Emily" he said as he stood in his underwear. "I wanna get past this. I don't like this wall between us." he admitted.

"I don't either Aaron but I need time to deal with this...and..." she began.

"And what?" he asked, curious as to what she had on her mind.

"Aaron, this isn't the time for this. I keep telling you that we'll talk later and you keep pushing it. I can't talk to you about it until Jack is asleep." she told him. "Please let me go. Dinner is going to burn."

"Okay" he gave in, letting go of her hand. "I'll be out soon."

"Okay" she replied, rushing out the bedroom door and straight to the oven.

The family of three devoured Emily's lasagna, except for Hotch, who picked at his food barely touching it. After Jack had eaten, he asked to go to his room for a while and Hotch approved, hoping he could have a moment more alone with Emily. He stood up from his chair and took his plate to the sink, turning around to watch Emily cleaning up the other dishes. He thought she was beautiful and it broke his heart that he had hurt her. When Emily had picked up everything, planning to finish later, she got out one of Hotch's pills and laid it on the bar with his remaining tea he'd had at dinner.

"Here's your meds" she said, then walking into the living room.

"I think I'll skip one. I don't like how they make me feel." he informed her.

"Aaron...you need to take them. Doctor's orders, not mine. It's for the best." she added, wishing she hadn't.

He walked into the living room to stand near her. "Best for who? I'm not going to be pumped full of drugs that make me feel like shit. I'm fine."

"I can't make you take the medicine Aaron. I was only trying to help." she said kindly.

"Well, I don't need your help. I don't need you're damn mothering. I can take care of myself." he lashed out fairly loudly.

"Aaron please keep your voice down." she pleaded.

Hotch moved closer, looking down at her. "Since when did you become so demanding?" he asked with a low giggle.

"I'm not trying to be demanding. I'm trying to keep your son from hearing things that he shouldn't." she said honestly, causing him to take that remark to mean that he didn't have his son's best interest in mind.

"Well, I don't need you to tell me how to raise my son either Em. I know I'm not exactly going to win the 'Father of the Year' award this year but I do love him." he said as his face became covered with that anger that Emily had seen last night.

"I know you do Aaron. I was just concerned about him. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it." she said wholeheartedly, turning away from him, her body language telling him she was agitated.

"Don't turn away from me when I'm talking to you!" he yelled somewhat loudly, promoting her to turn around quickly and use a forceful whisper.

"Aaron, please. All of this started just because your acting like a child that's refusing to take his medicine." she said firmly.

Emily and Hotch both stood there fuming, and when Hotch saw that small raise of her eyebrow, challenging him, he felt nothing short of degraded.

Just as Jack eased slowly into the living area, unbeknownst to the two adults, Emily felt the sting of Hotch's hand across her unharmed cheek.

"Dad! Stop!" Jack yelled to his father as he ran to Emily's side and wrapped his arms around her waist. "That's bullying Dad." the little boy added as his father looked down on him.


	7. Chapter 7

Hotch looked down at his son and laid his hand on top of his head gently.

"Jack, I want you to go to your room" he told him kindly, running his hands over his son's blond hair. "I need to talk to Emily." he said, finally looking at her after striking her once again, clearly showing her that Jack's unleashing on his father had effected Hotch greatly.

Jack held on tight to Emily's waist. "Please don't hurt Emily again Dad." he begged.

"Jack, now." Hotch said firmly. "I won't hurt Emily again."

Jack looked at Emily, it seemed for her approval, and Emily took in the fact that Hotch's demeanor had changed.

"Go ahead Jack. It's okay." she told him, reassuring herself as well. Jack went to his room as Emily rubbed her hand over her cheek to relieve the pain.

"Emily..." Hotch began as he stepped close to her, raising his hand to brush her hair away from her face.

"Don't." she said backing away from him. "Dont touch me." she told him as she turned and walk quickly to the bedroom she had recently began to loathe.

Hotch stood there in the silent room alone. The the sound he then heard made his chest tighten and his pulse race. Emily was crying. He could hear her all the way from the living room. As he stood there soaking in stupidity, he heard small footsteps, growing louder as they reached the living room.

"Emily's crying Dad." he said with a small quiver.

Hotch walked over to his son and squatted down in front of him. "I know...and I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong." he admitted. "I'm going to take care of her okay? I won't hurt her anymore. Don't worry. Okay?" he asked, looking in his innocent eyes, meaning every word.

"Okay, you promise?" Jack asked.

"I promise" he assured him with a smile. "You go play and give me a few minutes with Emily."

"Okay" he said, hugging his Dad, then running down the hall to his room.

Hotch took in a deep breath and walked down the hall. He didn't realize the bedroom door was closed when he had heard her crying and that fact told him that he had really fucked up this time. He stood outside the door for a moment and then knocked lightly.

"Aaron, I need a minute." she said as he heard her shaky voice coming from the other side.

"Em please. Let me in or I'll break the door down." he told her in his best 'unit chief' tone. "I know you don't trust my words right now, but I need to say them." he begged.

"Alright" she said and seconds later he saw the doorknob turning.

She opened the door enough for him to come in and walked away from the door, separating the closeness between them. Hotch walked in and sat on the edge of their bed and looked up at her standing by the dresser, crying. It was the first time he really got a look at her since she'd opened the door. Her eyes were soaked and swollen.

"I won't hurt you. C'mere." he said, laying his hand on the comforter.

Emily hesitated but moved slowly toward the bed and sat down. Hotch raised his eyes slowly to hers.

"I'll take the medicine." he told her as he stretched his hand out to land on hers. Just before his hand reached hers, she pulled away. "Emily...I don't know what to say besides I'm sorry and I will do anything that I need to do to prevent myself from hurting you again." he said honestly as he moved to his knees on the floor in front of her, looking up at her face that was soaked with tears. "But I don't want you to be scared of me. That eats me up inside." he admitted as his own tears streamed down his face.

Emily let Hotch succeed in his attempt to lay his hands on her knees. As she looked down at the hand that had struck her more than once and had confined her as he raped and abused her, she took in a shaky breath and decided that now was the time to tell him everything.

"Aaron, I'm scared of you with good reason. The night we had the fight...you did other things to scare me and...hurt me. Things you have no idea about because you don't remember and that's hard for me because I have to deal with what happened even if you don't remember." she explained as the tears rolled down his face and as he raised himself to stand in front of her.

"What happened Em? What did I do?" he asked, wiping his tears.

Emily stood up, walked to the door and locked it and then removed her clothes, standing in her bra and panties, feeling quite vulnerable.

Hotch stood there in shock as Emily turned her body for him to see the bruises and red stripes on her body. He began to shake and when he saw her thigh where the skin had obviously been broken, every ounce of his shame surfaced.

"Oh my god" he said with a tremble in his voice. He wanted to hold her but along with knowing that she wouldn't want him to, the sight of her battered body made him sick to his stomach prompting him to run to the bathroom where he threw up until there was nothing left in his stomach.

Emily grabbed her clothes and put them on quickly, hurrying into the bathroom.

"Aaron, are you okay? Do you need anything?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair.

"Please...just take care of Jack for a few minutes. I can't face him right now. I'll talk to him in a little while." he told her, rinsing his mouth and hands over the sink. "Please Em." he said as she stood there in place watching him in the mirror.

"Okay...okay. I'll start his DVD and sit with him. I'll tell him you'll be out soon." she said, giving him a hand towel. "Aaron, we need to talk later okay?" she informed him as she crossed her arms.

"There's more?" he asked with fear in his eyes.

"Umm...yeah." she conveyed. "Please try not to make yourself sick. We'll get through this and we'll be alright." she told him, praying that she could trust his vow to take his medicine. "I'll see you in a few minutes." she said and then left the bathroom.

Hotch stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror at himself. He couldn't stand what he had done. He wasn't exactly sure how he had inflicted the marks on Emily, but it was just enough for him to know that he had and he assumed that he had followed through with the punishment, clearly taking it too far. Looking at his reflection, he hated himself when his memory cursed him with one of the worst acts he could possibly carry out, especially on the woman that trusted him with her life. How could he ever face him or his son again?

Emily walked to stand in the doorway of Jack's room where she saw him laying on his side on his wooden bed, his back facing the door. When she walked closer to his bed, she noticed there was a book under his leg. The title was "You Abuse, You Lose". It was a book that Hotch had bought Jack when his classmate, Paul, had bullied him. Jack told Hotch that Paul hadn't bullied him but the only thing Hotch saw was a little boy that wanted to see the best in everyone. Another wave of tears hit her as she came to stand beside his bed, watching as he stared at the jungle animals that were parading on the wall. Something had to be on Jack's mind for him to be awake and still for that long.

"Hey Jack" Emily said softly.

Jack turned over in his bed to face Emily. "Hey" he said in a sad voice.

Emily sat on the edge of the bed and laid her hand on his shoulder. "I don't want you to worry okay? Your Dad was just upset. He didn't mean to upset you or me." she said, getting the feeling that she wasn't getting across to him how much his Dad was sorry. She then realized it was probably best if Hotch talked him later. "Jack, have you ever done something and then you realized you shouldn't have?" she asked, giving it another try.

"Yes" he replied, giving her his full attention.

"Well, you're Dad was upset at me and after he hit me, he wished that he hadn't. He told me he was sorry and since we love each other and we are a family, I want to give him another chance." she said, hoping Hotch would explain things further and help Jack to somewhat understand the physical and mental part of the whole situation.

"I don't want him to hit you anymore." he expressed strongly. "Ms. McKee said if someone is being hurt, they should leave."

Emily sat there taking in the wisdom of a nine year old when she heard the beeping sounds from the small safe that Hotch kept his weapon in.

"Jack, stay here." Emily told him firmly.

"M'kay" he answered as he watched her run out of his bedroom door.

Just as Emily reached their bedroom door, it slammed in her face, forcing her to back away. She grabbed the doorknob, turning it harshly as she pounded on the door and screamed to her soul mate.

"Aaron!"


	8. Chapter 8

"Aaron open the door...please!" he heard her voice loudly pleading with him. Emily pounded on the door, suffering the blows to her fists, causing Jack to reach the hallway just as Emily kicked yet another door in.

"Aaron!" she screamed at the sight of Hotch sitting on the floor, propped up against their bed with his gun in his mouth. "Aaron, no!" she continued, reaching the bed.

Hotch jerked the gun from his mouth and stood up quickly, taking Emily by surprise as she was forced to look down the barrel of the gun she had seen him carry every day.

"Get out of here Emily!" he screamed, terrifying her with his cold eyes. She could see that Hotch was deranged as she stood still in front of him, faced with a talk down she'd never imagined she would have to perform.

"Aaron...baby listen..." she begged, not aware of the little boy standing a few feet behind her, peeking around what was left of the door frame. "I know this is hard for you but we will get passed this! I'm here for you...I'm not going anywhere Aaron. Please...lets just sit down and talk about this." she said, tears steaming down her face.

Hotch stood still, staring at her with swollen eyes as his jaws clenched repeatedly. "But I...I know now...I know what I did to you and it's unforgivable Em." he informed her through gritted teeth, continuing to hold the gun on her. "Get out!" he yelled as he began to lose control of his shaking hand that gripped the gun tightly.

"Aaron...I have already forgiven you." she said honestly with a tone that captured Hotch's attention for a split second until he let another wall build itself around him.

"Yeah...well I can't forgive myself for this Em. I can't." he said as he repositioned his hand around the gun, Emily remaining in his line of fire, her brain overwhelmed with the choice of the right words to say to him.

"I forgive you Dad", a small voice came from behind Emily, causing her to turn around quickly and prompting Hotch to somewhat lower his gun and take in the wave of innocence before him.

"Jack!" Emily said turning his small frame around suddenly. "Jack go back to your room and stay there!" she told him as he fought her hold on him with a strength she didn't know he had.

"No!" he replied, crying to Emily. "I want to help Dad!" he screamed, flinging his body from her shaky grasp, then running toward his father who then panicked causing the gun to fire, striking his only son.

"Nooo!" Emily cried, her voice shrieking in the room as Jack's body fell to the floor, blood pouring from his thigh as he screamed in excruciating pain; a sound Hotch nor Emily would ever forget.

Hotch stood there in shock, not moving from where he stood as he watched Emily move, in what he saw as slow motion, toward Jack. Kneeling on the floor beside Jack, Emily turned to see Hotch's horrified expression at what he'd done but jerked him from his daze when she screamed.

"Call 911!" she yelled at him as she grabbed towels from the bathroom to put pressure on the bleeding wound, startled when she heard banging on the apartment door. Between Emily's direct order to him and the commotion at the door, Hotch broke from his asphyxia, grabbed his cellphone and ran to the door as he dialed for an ambulance.

Hotch opened the door to find two members of management of the building demanding to know what had taken place.

"Agent Hotchner, what the hell happened in here? We heard what sounded like a gunshot. Is everyone alright?" he asked, as the operator on the line requested his emergency.

"Yes...This is Agent Aaron Hotchner." He said as he held up a finger telling the two employees to wait a moment. "I need...I need an ambulance to 811 Ridgemont Avenue...Arlington, Virginia now!" he yelled, trying to focus on the dispatcher's request for more information as it was drowned out by his son's distress. "Apartment 121. My son has been shot. Send somebody now!" he added as the men at the door were astonished. "Okay...okay" Hotch replied into the phone, then ended the call.

"Agent Prentiss and I have everything under control here." Hotch informed the men. "Thank you" he added, closing the door and running back down the hallway, realizing there was no sound coming from the bedroom.

As he reached the doorway, the air was forced from his lungs when he took in the sight of Emily sitting on the bedroom floor, her hands covered in blood as they held his lifeless son.

"No...no no...Jack!" he cried as he dropped to his knees beside the two most important people in his life.

"Aaron he's alive. He's lost consciousness but he's alive." she assured him as she kept pressure on the small wound. "I think the bullet grazed his leg but there's so much blood, I can't tell." she said, knowing he was terrified but seeing that she eased his mind somewhat.

"Oh my god, what have I done Emily?" he whispered, his heart aching inside of his chest as he looked down at Jack's pale face, becoming more frustrated. "Give him to me" he demanded as he reached out his arms.

"I'm not moving him...and Aaron, it was an accident and that's what will be in the report." she said a little agitated herself, finding it hard to deal with her anger toward Hotch and also her love for him. "Just try to calm down" she told him as he watched her hand move to his forearm, staining his shirt with blood.

"Come on Jack" Hotch said in his most calming tone as he stroked his son's hair. "Wake up buddy." he begged. "I'm so sorry Jack. I'm so sorry."

"Aaron, it may be best that he's unconscious for now. He won't be in pain." she told him truthfully.

"Yeah...yeah, I guess you're right." he replied, lowering his gaze to the area of the injury he'd inflicted on his son. "Emily...I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything." he said honestly as she saw his remorse generate a cry she hadn't heard from him since he held his departed ex-wife in his arms. What she didn't know was that he had cried himself to sleep for weeks, just as Reid had, when Doyle took out his vengeance on her two years ago. He knew she was alive but she was gone and having to deal with healing physically, mentally and emotionally all alone. He pushed himself out into the dating world, reluctantly, knowing that no one could compare to Emily.

"I know Aaron" she replied as she wiped her tears with her sleeve. "But...you need help. I can't do this anymore. I can't help you if you won't help yourself." she conveyed as they both heard the ambulance approaching the building.

"I know Em. I know." he said, kissing Jack on the forehead, then hurrying to the door. Emily may not have had full assurance that Hotch would stand by his word, but he knew there was no other choice to be made.

Hotch met the paramedics at the door, leading them to the bedroom. After the medics agreed that it was safe to move him, Emily let the them tend to Jack as they lifted him from her arms, moving him to the gurney. Hotch and Emily both stood, shaking and crying, taking deep breaths to resurface their trained abilities. One medic placed the small oxygen mask on Jack's face and checked his vitals while the other directed his attention to the wound, packing and wrapping it tightly.

"It looks like the bullet went through the outer flesh of the thigh. Fortunately, it seems to have missed any main arteries or veins but I'm not positive about the muscle. He's lost a lot of blood but his vitals are good." the paramedic told the couple as they stood by watching Jack becoming alert slowly, Emily's fear appearing on her face. "We gave him a sedative so he shouldn't feel much pain, if any." he assured them as Hotch tried to compose himself, standing as close as possible to the gurney beside Emily.

"Daddy..." Jack spoke weakly, fighting to open his eyes completely.

"I'm right here Jack" he said, running his hand over his blond hair once more before the paramedics prepared to leave. "Everything will be okay. You're okay buddy. Just let the doctors take care of you" he told him as Jack's eyes closed again.

"Let's go!" the other medic said, unlocking the wheels as Emily and Hotch felt the safety railing of the gurney leave their grasp.

"We're going with you." Hotch informed them.

"There's only room for one of you." the paramedic replied, rushing the stretcher out of the bedroom door.

As they rolled Jack down the short hallway, Emily reached her hand out to Hotch. When he turned to face her, she crashed into his arms, her eyes full of tears, as she tried to remain calm.

"He'll be okay Aaron. I know he will." she said wholeheartedly. "You go...I'll be right behind you." she added as she gathered up a small smile to comfort him.

"Okay." he replied, not being able to muster enough strength to return the gesture.

Hotch and Emily reached the living room just in time to see the paramedics wheel Jack away from their sight. Hotch kissed Emily on the cheek and for the first time in twenty-four hours, she felt like everything may be alright.

"I'll see you there then" he said, as he watched Emily pick up his one of his medication bottles, pouring one of the anxiety pills into her hand.

"Please..." she said to him, silently frightened of his reaction. "Please take one. You're extremely stressed right now and you need to be capable to be as strong as you can for Jack." she encouraged him.

"Alright" he said, taking the pill from her, swallowing it without water and then heading outside to attempt to do everything he could to help his son understand how much his father never meant to hurt him.


End file.
